Eugenia’s dad is by far the most old-fashion person of all the older generations I ever met, my primary school teachers are so much more updated than him. Not much to say about except old block, super outdated that can’t accept new ideas.
Eugenia and I came home very late one night when we were dating, I was on public transport and still staying with my mum in Jurong, so it’s a long way home, if I miss the bus, it’ll will be a cab from Telok Blangah to Jurong West, so Eugenia suggested that I stay for the night and take a bus home the next day. I asked her to seek her parents’ permission first, don’t want to shock them the next morning to see their daughter’s boyfriend sleeping over. She went over to their room, came back and told me permission granted, as a respect I decided to sleep in the hall and she sleeps in her own room, but she insisted I take her bed while she goes to the hall; we kept the room’s door open. We didn’t do anything funny; Eugenia is a very good Catholic, no sex before marriage so the four years before marriage we kept to this strict rule. The next morning we woke up and I went to the hall and sat on the sofa, the dad would have saw Eugenia on the sofa as he wakes up at 5am everyday. Then while I was watching the TV with the dad sitting on my left, I was actually waiting for him to say something because for some reason I knew he’s not comfortable with me stay over. He finally spoke, he waited till Eugenia was not with me and told me sternly that he doesn’t want me to stay over at their house but cut it short when Eugenia returned. In front of Eugenia I promised him no more staying over, Eugenia asked her dad what’s going on and he kept quiet, but I told her what the dad said when we went back to her room. She was quite angry because to get such warning at 28 years old is quite embarrassing, we are old enough to book a hotel room and do what we want, and we really didn’t do anything at all.
There was a time when I was asked to go KL Malaysia to help out on a presentation and I asked Eugenia to come along, at 29 years old and the dad don’t allow her to go so I went there myself with another friend and his family. We were so busy preparing for the day we hardly have time to stay in the hotel, it was all work for me and Eugenia could actually go shopping, she was very disappointed.
We still wanted to go travel together and really enjoy ourselves, so we came out with a plan to go Taiwan. She told her folks she’s going with her friend and we were supposed to meet at the airport, but when the parents said they wanted to send her to the airport we have to change the meeting point to the boarding gate instead and she needs to cook up a story why the friend is not there to meet her at the departure area, luckily they didn't turn up as the flight was early in the morning. It was a very adventurous trip not just for Taiwan but also the parents’ part, the feeling at that time was like doing a James Bond type mission, Eugenia was so happy to have 11 days of freedom and I vow to give her that freedom for the rest of her life. We drove around the whole island sleeping in the car and hotels still keeping to the strict Catholic rule of no sex before marriage. This was the trip that Eugenia saw for the first time in her life professional gangsters in tuxedo, surprisingly the gangsters’ boss was staying in the same hotel with us in Kaohsiung. She was quite worried but she trusted me a lot and I just told her we are much safer than walking on the street, these big-time gangsters carry guns and not likely to start a fight, in Taiwan only small-time gangsters fight on the street.
Though the dad is an old block Eugenia and I agree he’s a very good dad, much better than mine. I had one who was a child abuser, wife beater, womanizer, drunker and gambler. Eugenia’s dad is nothing short of a super dad bringing up two graduates while my dad doesn’t allow us to go to school. Her dad is always trying to be a responsible dad so much that he finds it hard to quit, he fails to realize that his children are now grownups with their own life.
After Eugenia’s death he simply assumes that he’ll take the responsibility to look after Alyssa without realizing that Alyssa still has a dad. He’ll buy food for her everyday without checking with me and almost always massed up Aly’s feeding schedule. When Aly and I dine out he’ll accuse me for not giving Aly food as he didn’t see Aly eating under his nose. He’ll give fruits, Oreo, chocolates and anything he can find just before Aly’s mealtime and when time for her proper meal she could not eat anymore. I got no choice but to stop him from giving Aly food, the next thing you know he asked me when am I going to move out. After a while he started feeding Aly again. When Aly miss behave, I need to punish her by making her stand in a corner, he’ll pull her away. He interfered in all aspect of Aly’s up bringing and gave totally no respect to me as Aly’s father, I had a hard time trying to regain control and realized how much Eugenia been through when she’s looking after Aly while I was happily enjoying my $15000 job.
We also have very different mindset of what food is good for Aly, while her pediatrician told us to give her more milk, he thinks milk is useless and try to replace her milk with carbohydrates; anything that is make of rice. In the beginning I gave in to him and Aly’s milk was down to a bottle of 180ml per day, she was also down to skin and bone, we had an argument on that and I was told to keep my mouth shut. So I took back Aly and start giving 4 bottles per day and sometimes 6 with some solid food, multi vitamin and fiber, she gain back some weight but still not what I would like, still trying to make her eat more. Though his intention is a good one but he failed to understand that his method is outdated and probably cause malnutrition to Eugenia, Eugenia was underweight from very young which I believe caused her health condition. I wanted to get her an NTUC term policy but was rejected due to this, guess the insurance company knew something about being underweight.
Overall I still appreciate his present when I need to attend business meetings and I can’t bring Aly along, he has been a very good help but unfortunately, we have very different views.
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