Eugenia seems to be a very submissive girl next door, always pleasing others but inside her it’s another story. After being with her and the family for a few months I realized that Eugenia had very little confidence and this have something to do with the mom. The mom was a very domineering figure in the family, so much so that the dad called her empress dowager. She’ll throw her weight around whenever she likes and nobody in the family dare say a word when she did that. Eugenia being the only girl in the family was very close to the mom and naturally she came under the repressive regime of the mom more than any family member, she’s more like a servant for the mom than a daughter. She cannot sound her displease as she’ll be taken down immediately and never allow to show her temple, there was once she tries to argue with the mom and was swiftly suppress with something like how dare you talk against me and immediately Eugenia kept quiet, and that was after we got married. If I were to stand up for Eugenia, the situation might be worst, and I'll put her in a very difficult position.
Eugenia did tell me that she had difficulty expressing herself, so I was trying to find out what caused that and when I asked was her mom always throwing her weight at them since young, she just kept quiet. To me the mom was not a bad person, it’s just her anger that cost her daughter’s happiness and self-confidence, at times she can blow up just by accidentally stepping on her toe and a lot of time she and I went through a full-scale war with poor Eugenia caught in the crossfire. I simply will not give in to her mom because I believe if I do, more will come.
We gave up our friend’s rental house and stayed with my mom in order to take care of her but when she died, we vacated my brother’s house and were left without a house. We tried to apply for government rental house but was turn down while we were still trying to ballot for a new house, we were not comfortable renting house due to our financials so the decision of moving back to her house is a very difficult one. I could see that she was very unhappy, so we had a long talk, she told me she really enjoyed the first year of our marriage because we were staying by ourselves away from her family. So the plan was let’s give it a try and if things don’t work out, we’ll rent.
Eugenia was totally stress out trying to nurse Aly and still do housework, I was on 12 hours shift 7 days week and can't help her much. Trying to protect her I told her let’s move out and her first reaction was how is she going to explain to the mom that we’re moving out, she said if we get a house from the ballot it’s ok but if we’re going to rent, her mom will question and will be furious. Suddenly we found ourselves prisoners of the mom, the stress with her mom was at breaking point and we were supposed to move out and rent a condo just before she was diagnosed with cancer.
After Eugenia’s death her mom seems to mellow down to the point of zero anger, we don’t fight anymore and surprisingly now she’s very kind to me, she totally changes to a gentle loving old lady but if this is because of Eugenia it’s really too much to pay.
Deep down I just can't help but blame them for her death, still trying very hard to forgive and forget.
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