Eugenia and her mum

Eugenia seems to be a very submissive girl next door, always pleasing others but inside her it’s another story. After being with her and the family for a few months I realized that Eugenia had very little confidence and this have something to do with the mom. The mom was a very domineering figure in the family, so much so that the dad called her empress dowager. She’ll throw her weight around whenever she likes and nobody in the family dare say a word when she did that. Eugenia being the only girl in the family was very close to the mom and naturally she came under the repressive regime of the mom more than any family member, she’s more like a servant for the mom than a daughter. She cannot sound her displease as she’ll be taken down immediately and never allow to show her temple, there was once she tries to argue with the mom and was swiftly suppress with something like how dare you talk against me and immediately Eugenia kept quiet, and that was after we got married. If I were to stand up for Eugenia, the situation might be worst, and I'll put her in a very difficult position.

Eugenia did tell me that she had difficulty expressing herself, so I was trying to find out what caused that and when I asked was her mom always throwing her weight at them since young, she just kept quiet. To me the mom was not a bad person, it’s just her anger that cost her daughter’s happiness and self-confidence, at times she can blow up just by accidentally stepping on her toe and a lot of time she and I went through a full-scale war with poor Eugenia caught in the crossfire. I simply will not give in to her mom because I believe if I do, more will come.

We gave up our friend’s rental house and stayed with my mom in order to take care of her but when she died, we vacated my brother’s house and were left without a house. We tried to apply for government rental house but was turn down while we were still trying to ballot for a new house, we were not comfortable renting house due to our financials so the decision of moving back to her house is a very difficult one. I could see that she was very unhappy, so we had a long talk, she told me she really enjoyed the first year of our marriage because we were staying by ourselves away from her family. So the plan was let’s give it a try and if things don’t work out, we’ll rent.

Eugenia was totally stress out trying to nurse Aly and still do housework, I was on 12 hours shift 7 days week and can't help her much. Trying to protect her I told her let’s move out and her first reaction was how is she going to explain to the mom that we’re moving out, she said if we get a house from the ballot it’s ok but if we’re going to rent, her mom will question and will be furious. Suddenly we found ourselves prisoners of the mom, the stress with her mom was at breaking point and we were supposed to move out and rent a condo just before she was diagnosed with cancer.

After Eugenia’s death her mom seems to mellow down to the point of zero anger, we don’t fight anymore and surprisingly now she’s very kind to me, she totally changes to a gentle loving old lady but if this is because of Eugenia it’s really too much to pay.

Deep down I just can't help but blame them for her death, still trying very hard to forgive and forget.

Meet the mum

After a month of dating Eugenia, she asked me to join her family’s weekend dinner at scotts picnic food court for steamboat. It was a tense situation for me as well as the parents, I was somewhat unemployed while I was taking my part time degree, what am I going to say if that rather stupid question pops up from the parents? I’m sure they’re also having the same thought, what am I doing for a living? So it was really not a very good time to meet them but to make Eugenia happy I went along with her since she had so much confidence in me.

I was at my best behavior serving the future mother-in-law throughout the whole dinner and it was not too bad. Luckily that question didn’t pop up over the dining table, but I could sense that her mom was so ready to jump into that all so sensitive topic. Somehow Eugenia told them when they were back home, it really didn’t help with their digestive system. After a week or so I was in Eugenia’s room looking out of the window together with Eugenia and her mom came into the room and ask me in Chinese 你有钱养我女儿吗? (Can you afford to support my daughter?)

It went straight to my stomach and it’s the start of our nightmare till the day Eugenia dies. I vow to prove them wrong and I did it so hard that I’m still doing it even though I have already proven myself. They knew I have a lot of money but they have no idea how much and the dad still don’t think I’m capable of buying private properties, to me that’s the biggest joke but since Eugenia’s gone I don’t give a damn anymore, just want to find a new place for Aly and me and live the rest of our lives happily. They can say anything they want while we enjoy our year round holiday without even have to work for it. I don’t think they’ll ever get to know how rich I am.

First Kiss

I brought her to my yacht club on our 2nd date and had a late dinner. Started at 9 finished close to 11, nearly 2 hours. It was a very English dinner with full table setting; 3 sets of cutleries, soup spoon, butter knife and 2 wine glasses. She was overwhelmed staring down at the table, so I patiently explained what they were for and when to use them. It was taught by my primary school teacher that if you want to test a girl bring her to a full course western dinner, so I did, from that moment I knew she’s just an average girl next door.

After dinner we took a walk on the floating dock investigating every yacht and dreaming of having one, but reality sets in to tell us it’s never practical to have a yacht and only use it on weekends, so we agreed. Both of us are on the same frequency and somewhat similar mindset. We went back to the restaurant on the 2nd floor, which was closed by then, 12am and we sat on a bench outside the restaurant looking out to the sea, the wind was blowing so again, I wrap my arms around her. We kept quiet for a while then we started to hug each other. I pat her chic and ask her if she ever had such experience, she kept quiet, and I gave a few more kisses on her face and suddenly she turns around started to kiss me on my lips. That’s our first kiss and I was shocked because she did so well, till today I’m still wondering am I the first person she every kiss. Guess I’ll never know.

She's the one.

1999, I left Disney Fest in Taiwan, came back and found a new job selling Australian property. With just an engineering diploma I decided to get a degree in marketing, it started with a marketing certificate in Themes business school and met Eugenia there as student service executive. We talk and joke a lot, nothing happens but inside me I had this feeling that she’s the one, it didn’t occur to me that I’ll will ask her out as I’m not at the best economic situation. Then one evening after class as I was looking for someone to go supper with and there she was, pop out in front of me so I casually ask her if she’s hungry and we ended up in Suntec City. After supper we took a walk on the street looking down the fountain, surprisingly she was quite comfortable with me. We took a sit on the bench, and I realized she was shivering cold even with her jacket, so I try to keep her warm by wrapping my arms and half my body around her; she said she felt warm and loves the feeling. That’s where we started, I promised her that I’ll give her that warm as long as I live.